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Vocality ≠ Depression: It is a necessary choice

25th October, 2020 : 6 min read

By: Ayushi Agarwal

I have recently re-started a personal project of being vocal about issues that have always made me want to speak up. Reading my articles (gratitude to those who liked reading it without personal judgment), many people expressed their concerns about how they are there to support me when I am upset and depressed 🥺. I would have felt so honored had they not assumed that "they knew I was upset, so they are there for me." I would have been happy to discuss further my articles and articulate their views in my next upcoming articles, too, like I am doing in this one.

It seemed quite interesting because this was not the first time something like this had happened. I had written such articles in the past, and I had gotten a similar response. Some even told me that I should try to write about happy things instead of issues.

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Because everything that happens in life has to have a happy ending. ❌ No, it has to be about the journey.

People judge authors very personally, even though the content's inspiration can be far from their judgments. Earlier I stopped writing (I quite regret it), thinking, "No one would want to read it, and everyone will think I am writing about my life😱 " What a horror right, to be judged so personally. I was young, and it took a while to realize that I used to write for myself, and it gave me immense satisfaction for contributing my thoughts to the world. The judgments are temporary, and the purpose of writing and sharing is bigger. I now write about my life, boldly and ferociously✌🏻, and this time, I have chosen to speak up to respond to such messages.

When I talk passionately about feminism or social issues, people assume (even women, sorry for pointing it out loud) that something is wrong with my life, and that is why I am choosing to be vocal about it. Everyone has difficult times, and we grow from our experiences. I am not ashamed, and I am proud to accept that my experiences shaped me into a brave, independent, and strong-headed woman. I speak up not because I am depressed but because it needs to be spoken. I am proud, not depressed, not pessimistic. I think about change and impact with optimism.

I choose to speak not because I have the right to speak, but because I have a voice and an opinion and the power to bring change.

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Someone has to say it. Vocality ≠ Depression Vocality ≠ Misery Vocality = No self-insecurity

People usually choose to remain silent, and more so educated people in situations that don't affect them directly. We see things around us one desires to change, but our goals to earn more money and be "more" successful (sorry to be so blunt, but it's true) don't let us speak about anything. No amount of money and success will ever be enough. It is our nature as humans. We want better lives, and so our present life would never be enough. We tirelessly work to have better lives and, in the process, exhaust ourselves to pursue anything else.

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“Why did people make such a fateful miscalculation? For the same reason that people throughout history have miscalculated. People were unable to fathom the full consequences of their decisions. Whenever they decided to do a bit of extra work – say, to hoe the fields instead of scattering seeds on the surface – people thought, ‘Yes, we will have to work harder. But the harvest will be so bountiful! We won’t have to worry anymore about lean years. Our children will never go to sleep hungry.’ It made sense. If you worked harder, you would have a better life. That was the plan.” ― Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

Even within families, one remains silent to avoid confusion, conflicts, and chaos to keep us from getting occupied in personal zero-return stress and issues. It is true. We all want to do things that will give some returns (and yes, happiness is also a return we expect from our actions) in our life. Everything in our life is a huge cost-benefit analysis happening in the background to do things with high future ROI (Return on Investment) in the foreground. We invest time in interpersonal relationships that are deemed to convert into long-term friendships or romantic relationships or give us professional benefits. We don't spend time with anyone just for the sake of doing it in the present.

We invest our time (which is limited for all of us) in something after analyzing many things subconsciously. Sub-conscious is only what we don't know exists. We never try to notice how we are making these decisions. Once we do, we will realize how many times we wanted to speak up but didn't because of that "very urgent" meeting or that "crucial" call. We start by knocking on the door of that subconscious.

So, when we see someone speaking up or doing something that can have no tactical returns whatsoever, we think they are doing that to make themselves feel good, or they are depressed. It happens subconsciously.

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Speaking up gives voice to not one individual, but many more.

But, speaking up is a conscious decision that one takes in a moment after realizing that it is more important than work and everything going on in life that seems very urgent at the moment but actually isn't.

The human race can perish tomorrow but the universe will keep going without us.

We should continuously ask ourselves if we can have anything we want, what would we want to want? This was something I read in the book "Sapiens: A Brief History of Mankind" by Yuval Noah Harari that revolutionized my thinking forever. It made me realize that l am so much more than my work and finding the meaning of my life. I realized I want to help out people who are not as privileged as I was. I realized I wanted to speak up for things that made me uncomfortable and have my voice heard instead of shying away, thinking it would not affect me. When I say everything that is even remotely wrong around you, believe me, it will affect you somehow.

We can all start to speak up by doing simple things. I did not just start writing all of a sudden. It is a long yet important personal process. We have to be connected to ourselves first. We need to see our subconscious. We need to feel completely secure with our thoughts, and with security comes the power to accept criticism and the will to accept challenges to our opinions. Speak up without being defensive to those small issues you once thought were not important at the time. Being defensive takes a lot of energy, and we usually play defensive when we are not open to changing our own opinions.

Speaking up is not synonymous with fighting and arguing. We can have a great impact by the meaningful exchange of thoughts, opinions, and experiences. We learn, we share, and we evolve. There is no other bigger purpose in life. We can evolve mindfully and not mindlessly, together.

Speak up. It is the best we can do individually to have a global impact.